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Saying "NO" to the bridal shop dress!

Can anyone tell me who thought it was a good idea to size wedding dresses so outrageously huge?!?!

I'm getting married in September of I've got roughly eight months to get my butt in gear. Being so pressed for time, I decided to go to one of those chain bridal stores that we've all heard of to try on some dresses for the big day......BIG MISTAKE!

First of all, did you know that the associate comes inside the dressing room and actually dresses you?!? I didn't! My man doesn't even get to watch me try to awkwardly squeeze into an article of clothing, let alone a perfect stranger?!?! Deep breaths....deep breaths now that I've finally come to terms with the fact that "Susie" (not her real name, but that's because I've always been taught that when you don't have anything nice to say about someone, you don't say anything at all. So she'll be Susie and we'll just pretend that I'm telling you about a terrible nightmare that I had!), ANYHOW, back to me coming to terms with Susie being all up in my business.... so I've finally realized that this woman who I don't know IS going to see me in my pale naked glory and then as she's struggling to pull the wedding dress down over my hips (which, mind you, fit into size six jeans) says, "Hmmm, this is a 12, I'll go get a 14".

WAIT....WHAT?!?! Did she really just say that a size 12 won't fit over my hips and that she needs to get a 14? I. Will. Never. Eat. Again. This. Is. The. Worst. Day. Ever.

So I ask Susie as calmly as I can without completely bursting into tears, "why are wedding dresses made this way?" Susie says back, "I dunno, what I do know is that I haven't had a break since I got here."

Ummmm, excuse me? I'm freaking dying here. Throw me a damn bone. Make me feel better! Say anything. Tell me you like my shoes, my hair, my purse. ANYTHING! You're a woman too, Susie. Don't leave a sister standing on the ledge about to jump!

Needless to say that I was done trying on dresses that day and am now on a strict low carb diet. Oh, and also, a quick Google search helped me figure out that wedding dress sizes are based on European sizes which run smaller than what we Americans are used to. Also, wedding dress sizes are based on tradition which is why they continue ruining the self esteem of women everywhere. Who knew? Personally, I think every single associate at any bridal store in the history of the planet earth needs to be armed with this info.

This experience has taught me two things:

1) I will not be wearing a traditional wedding dress. I'll piece my wedding dress together with a beautiful skirt and top I love and still look like a bride without feeling like I've doubled in size.

2) I need to start a bridal boutique and size dresses the opposite way. Personally I think it's genius!

European sizing is for the birds. It's just not nice to do that to a bride!

Although the normal bridal shops aren't for me, I sincerely hope that if you're a future bride reading this blog, you find what you love without feeling bad about the number on the tag. After all, size doesn't matter....right? ;)

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